5nl

    i had a tilting start to the day. i was up. started playing the regular tables again.
it was going well until, once again, the hammer fell.
AKss < QQ aip / AKo < AA in a three handed semi-deep euro game v a lag... etc. 
standard things began to tilt me. run bad. i just haven't felt like i can get any fuego goin'.
blah blah blah......
...so i decided to hop off and went to the pool to relax and get some sun.

chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool when i remembered where i was before i started playin' poker...

  some things were good, but on the monetary/job front i was 20k in debt calling BK lawyers and getting denied entry level jobs. like, stupid shit... my last job app/ was for a pizza joint slangin' beer and za.. even after having worked in a dozen+ restaurants (both mom and pops places and classier places) and getting called back for a second interview (lol).. denied.

"sorry, we don't think you're qualified to ask if they want miller lite or bud light, pepperoni or sausage." 



    i've had thirty+ jobs in my life.. like i've mentioned before i've worked a lot in restaurants, and a ton of random jobs.. helped all my friends in the trades like demo, electric, carpentry, installing floors/ tiles, roofing, worked overnights unloading trucks and stocking, you name it. i even you used to bum hunt 'paid training' ads for extra cash. but after getting denied there i felt fucked. i've never been one for the workplace.. i've always had my mind on music.. i loathed ninety percent of the jobs i've ever held. dealing with bosses that need to take off their shoes to do math, dress codes, dealing with the public, waking up in general. the list goes on and on. i really didn't have any ideas. being a starving artist was kind of the plan.

     so i had a $200 gc that i put on pstars. it was the last money i had(.) my ex-gf asked me if i wanted a guitar for my bday or that for stars... being a degen and having a couple acoustics lying around i said, 'let it ride'. all of my cc's were maxed out and was lacking income. after a night of playing i had $36 to my name. turns out it isn't the smartest thing to play 100nl with $200.. especially when you don't know what the hell you're doing. so, i had to make it last. i started grinding 5nl. long sessions.  yada yada yada. i live in mexico.

    i don't want to go into too much detail. you get the gist. i had one of those '...and i never looked back' stories that have led me here. (i'd also like to mention that my bro helped me out a ton getting started.. somewhat reluctantly as he knew how brutal the game is.. some of you may know him as 'ur_suspect') .... and even though i am by no means a baller, never had a big tourney cashes etc., poker has gotten me through the day to day and i'm very blessed to have found it. as tilting as it can be from time to time, i remembered, looking at the view, where i was and where grinding 5nl got me. it paid off all my debts, paid all my living expenses for years, several vacations including maui, vegas a few times, and la; new computer and musical equipment, helped me live in vegas and toronto after BF, and now it's taken me to a beautiful condo in cabo san lucas while i try to rebuild after that fiasco. it always helps me to think about those things through the tough times on stars... and i thought i'd share that witchas.